Fred's Thoughts

HE'S BACK!!!!

2005-05-28T18:36:06Z

My husband is back! When I saw him, I just ran to him and could not stop hugging him. I probably scared him at first by flinging myself at him and kissing him like that. Well, I'm his wife and I missed him a lot. Tough. So what, if people might have stared?

I hope nothing else like this ever happens again.

Giles is also safe. Thank goodness for that.

I haven't seen the others. I don't know if they've made it back yet. I can only pray that they have.

I'm going to cook Wesley's favorite meal tonight. I'm going to pamper him until he's dead from love and happiness. Which might be a bad thing--are there demons that actually do that? I'll have to ask Wesley.

And I am actually babbling, I'm so happy.

She's Baaaacckkk!

2005-05-16T18:45:46Z

Cordy finally made it back! I don't understand how she could have gotten separated from the others, but she showed up at Buffy's door. With Ethan Rayne in tow. He probably had something to do with the lightshow that made everyone get scattered across the timestream in the first place, based on what I've been told about him.

So far, the ones who have made it back are: Cordy, Anya, Buffy, Willow, ~~and Gunn. (RIP, Charles.)~~

Not yet, but hopefully soon--(Please let them be safe): Wesley, Giles, Angel, and Harmony.

It looks like I need a scorecard just to keep up with who went where for however long, and when they ended up. When Wesley gets back--and I hope he does, I won't give up--I have a feeling that I will never let him go again.

Two Returned--A Few More To Find

2005-05-03T19:21:15Z

For a girl who was once a Physics Major, I'm amazed that I take spells and monsters in such stride these days. Of course, being stuck in another dimension for 5 years is a big help.

Tara and Willow found a way to bring the others back--specifically, Anya, Buffy, and Cordy. It somehow involved using Dawn's blood. Not sure how it worked, since I'm really not a practitioner of magic. Unfortunately, only the first two made it back. Cordy's still out there...somewhere.

I hope she makes it back safely...

I can only imagine what those three have been through. Buffy had a cut on her leg--I couldn't tell how bad, since I wasn't close enough. Both Anya's and Buffy's dresses were filthy.

I volunteered to find them both some clothing, mostly to take my mind off the fact that Cordy was still among the missing.

This is proof that we can get them back. We just need enough power to do it, that's all. And to pinpoint their exact location within the timestream, of course.

Breaking Speed Limits, Battling Demons, And Returning To Sunnydale—All In A Night’s Work

2005-04-26T20:00:06Z

I’ll never forget the drive to L.A. as long as I live. Oz really should have warned me—of course, I can’t blame him that he didn’t. I was in too much of a hurry to listen when I realized there might be a way to save everyone. Faith is a wild woman when she drives. I know that I quietly held on for dear life, and didn’t complain. I didn’t want to distract her, lest we end in a fiery death. (I may have squeaked in terror, though. A couple of times. Like when we nearly ran over a deer. It's all a blur.)

Once we arrived at The Hyperion, I had hoped that we could get in, get the book, and get back to Sunnydale...but nothing is ever that easy, apparently. Spike and Xander, and two others I hadn’t met were under siege. At least Faith brought weapons...

Once that battle finished (and I realized I’m not cut out for fighting—but I stabbed a demon!), I found the book in the debris, and we headed for home. Luckily, Spike hadn’t trashed Wesley's office, so it was easy to find. We drove back to Sunnydale, and I’m not sure if Faith was going faster this time or not.

This whole thing managed to take my mind off Charles—at least for a little while. Oz was right. I really needed to get away for a few hours, and get some fresh air. And stop worrying for a little while.

Meanwhile, I’ve apparently taken over the dining room. Now, I’m going through the book, looking for the right passages. I think I’ve found a few, but I have to be sure.

I heard Tara calling for a few people earlier. Maybe she or Willow had an idea...

Happiness And Horror Combined...

2005-04-02T16:13:31Z

Willow was returned from whatever time period she was in. For that, I am truly overjoyed for Tara's sake. And it momentarily gave me hope that Wesley and the others were safe.

Until I found out that we had lost one of our own at A.I. Gunn. I know that I started crying a few moments after I overheard the news. I don't know when I stopped, or if I can.

Oh, Charles, no. Not you! You had become one of our best. You were a champion like Angel.

Who will we lose next? Wesley?

Please don't let it be Wesley. I couldn't stand to lose him, too. Or anyone else for that matter...

[Open to anyone who wants to try to comfort Fred.]

My Research Is Going To Be Older Than The Books Soon....

2005-03-18T19:11:34Z

I've referenced, cross-referenced, and written notes on every possible solution in all the old, dusty tomes I've got here.

However, there comes a time when you feel that things are not going to be brought to an end anytime soon. That time might be coming very soon. If we don't find everyone soon, they could get into real trouble. Bigger than being scattered across time, at any rate.

Wait...there's still one book I haven't checked. It references almost every mystical amulet, jewel, and scroll known to Watchers, Witches, and Wizards. If I can find it, it might be a big help. If Wesley didn't bring it with us when we came for the party, then it might still be back in L.A. This is one of those times that it's good for Wes to carry around his notes wherever he goes. (Even if slightly paranoid.)

If it is back in L.A., and not anywhere here or in the car we came in, maybe Spike can find it. After all, he's there helping out.

I'm going to pray he hasn't destroyed anything. Or thrown any beer bottles around Wesley's office.

I Can Only Imagine…

2005-02-14T15:48:02Z

Based on the letter from Cordy, Buffy, and Anya, the amulet sent them to the past. Because of this, I can only conclude that all the others are either spread across different time periods, or are spread across different places in one time period. Hopefully, nobody will make a wrong move and rewrite history. I don’t want to end up never being born or something. Time travel is a messy thing to figure out.

This is really starting to remind me of Back to the Future Part III...

Riley has been helping me with the endless reference. We just need to find a spell, a prophecy, anything that relates to what’s happening. There were a couple of moments of frustration when Riley thought he had found the answer in one of the old tomes. This one from the late 1600’s, it would seem. Riley thought the passage translated as "The amulet shall remove and destroy love." It really translates to "The One ring shall rule and bind all." Whatever that means. Prophecy? Doubtful, but I’ll check once everything gets straightened out, and I’m able to reference Wesley’s even older books in L.A.

I only just noticed what day it is, too. Valentine’s Day. I hope Wesley survives whatever time he’s in, and comes back. Along with everybody else.

Don't Shoot The Messenger...

2005-02-11T20:51:38Z

Having heard a knock at the door, I answered it. Turns out, it was a telegram. For me. I assumed it might be from my parents, because nobody else knew I was in Sunnydale.

I tear open the envelope, and quickly read the contents.

Dear Texas Twig,

So sorry to hear that your man left you. I mean really left you as in couldn't stand you enough that he portal jumped into god knows where to escape. Oh I know you think it was a spell or something but .well i wouldn't burden you with affairs of the heart. You are already under enough pressure I am sure. So have fun with that little search I am sure you have going, Hope he doesn't mind.

Yours,
Lilah Morgan

"Lilah..."

I know that my expected reaction from her is a breakdown, or sobbing. Even fear. Actually, I went past that after Wesley and everyone else were taken away at the party.

Wesley would never leave me willingly. I know his feelings for me. I know his heart. And I will not let her destroy my feelings toward him.

I crumple the letter into a ball and toss it in the trash, once I am through reading it.

Now, I just have to channel this anger into more research...I won't allow her to get to me.

Sleepless In Sunnydale

2005-02-08T22:20:22Z

I haven't been able to sleep very well since Wes and the others vanished. Partly from worry...well, mostly worry and theories about what could've happened. A teeny tiny part of that is possibly just from being in a different city, with a higher death toll than the demons cause in L.A.

It was sweet of Tara to alternate a sleeping pattern of the couch and bed. Unfortunately, even the wonderful feel of those sheets isn't gonna make me fall asleep this time.

Between me, Oz, and Tara we've been going through books like crazy. As long as the research isn't going to lead to opening portals to other dimensions, I should be ok. Although, when Tara mentioned portals, I must've gone whiter than a ghost, since she seemed concerned. That's probably just a normal psychosomatic reaction to anything associated with Pylea.

I know we'll find those who vanished in that bright light. We have to.

I will have to just stay strong until we can validate any kind of theories that anyone has.

Dust In The Wind...

2005-02-03T23:43:58Z

This was the first trip that Wesley and I ever took to Sunnydale together--at least as husband and wife. And it might also have been the last one, too.

Everyone was at Buffy's Surprise Birthday Party. Everyone was happy, and having fun. (For Goodness Sakes, even Angel and Spike were being civil! And from what I've been told, usually they're at each others throats like pit bulls.)

And Buffy and I had a little conversation about how we've probably been keeping the medical industry in business with all the injuries in both the Sunnydale and L.A. groups. Some would find that sort of talk kinda disturbing, but it's probably normal in our groups.

Everybody admired all the presents that Buffy got. One of them happened to be a very pretty necklace, that could have even been an amulet. People were passing it around to look at, and study. Even Wes wanted to get a look at it. Suddenly, there was a blindingly bright light.

After everybody got their sight back, there were fewer people in the room than had been there before.

They're all gone.

Wesley, Angel, Gunn, Cordy...

Tara helped me keep it together, when I realized that Wes was gone. I'll try to do the same for her if I can.

From the Sunnydale group, Tara says that Willow, Anya, Giles and Buffy are missing, too.

Possibly Harmony, too. Nobody is sure if she left early, though.

We will get them back. Even if most of our Champions are gone.

We have to...

Chaos At Wolfram and Hart, And The Aftermath

2005-01-28T20:58:07Z

Let this be a lesson to me. Never, ever, ever mention how quiet and peaceful things are. I think I must have jinxed both myself, and everyone else.

Well, it looks like the chaos at Wolfram and Hart is finally over. Wolfram and Hart was like a horror movie gone horribly wrong. Zombies everywhere. After a lot of terror, and fear, and near deaths for me, everyone else apparently made it to a final battle with Skip.

I'm still in shock at everything that's happened. Of course, the second everyone found their way back to each other, I grabbed Wes for a big ole' hug. I was so afraid he would be killed or turned into a zombie. A few cuts, and bruises for the both of us, but no lasting damage. Just a need for a little ice pack, and rest.

Angel filled me in on a few things that occurred after I (and apparantly Oz too!) got separated from the group. Incredibly, it was Gunn and not Angel who defeated Skip, with a little boost from either TPTB or The Senior Partners. I really hope Angel isn't jealous of not being the one to save the world for once. He seemed just a little bit peeved.

Oh, and after returning to the Hyperion, Angel Investigations got an invitation to a surprise birthday party for Angel's ex-girlfriend. The one who's the Slayer, not the one who's a vampire. It should be a good way to recuperate after everything.

Sometime, I have to find out more about the people in Sunnydale. Maybe I can find out what would be good presents for everyone.

Countdown To New Year's

2004-12-31T23:34:55Z

The quiet is wonderful, after the horrible experiences everyone has dealt with throughout the last few weeks. I pray it lasts longer than a couple of weeks.

Not everyone is happy, though. Oz apparently had a horrible time. It may have possibly been worse than everyone else’s, since he had to leave the hotel for a few days. I hope he is all right, since when I tried to talk to him about it he seemed distant.

I truly hope that the coming year is not nearly as horrible and chaotic for my husband and friends. Everyone deserves lasting happiness.

(Of course, not perfect happiness or Angelus might make another appearance. Which would be bad.)

For tonight’s plans, though, I intend on being with my husband. We will ring in the New Year together, with a bottle of champagne, candles, and possibly a surprise or two...

Merry Christmas To All...

2004-12-25T17:26:30Z

I had forgotten how insane things are a couple of days before Christmas! The rush of last-minute shoppers is almost terrifying. I think I managed to find something for everyone, though.

And in all the madness of the past few weeks, I had nearly forgotten that today is the anniversary of when Wesley and I were engaged. This time last year, I was still in awe of his sweet proposal to marry me.

Before the inmate of Skip's came and caused trouble, I had planned on buying something for Wesley. Specifically, a research volume on every known prophecy and curse. I was told that it was a very rare volume. I hope that it will be a help for him with his research.

The owner of the occult store still had the book that I had requested. He even wrapped it for me, free of charge. Hopefully, Wesley will like it.

I even managed to get things decorated relatively well for the holidays, with the help of Gunn, Cordy, and Angel. With a little help from Gunn, I got the Christmas tree up and decorated, as well.

Everything seems nice and quiet and back to normal now. I hope things stay that way.

Your Mission Should You Choose To Accept It: Christmas Shopping

2004-12-24T15:33:47Z

With everything that has been going on these past few weeks, I completely forgot about Christmas shopping. Of course, that’s understandable when you and all your friends go completely loony and barricade yourselves in different rooms.

I think I'll be eternally grateful that that's over.

I’ll have to see if Cordelia is up to going shopping with me. There's bound to be a mad Christmas rush, but it can't be helped.

I have the perfect idea for a gift for Wesley. I’ve been saving for it all year. Hopefully, the item I requested is still on hold for me at the local occult shop.

Welcome Back, Sanity

2004-12-17T15:50:31Z

Well, it’s over. Around a day after I locked myself in my room, the madness left me. It is nearly hard to believe that I could have actually set up a deathtrap for anyone who made an attempt to get into the bedroom.

I’m glad that Lorne wasn’t actually in the hotel. I probably would have attacked him, with a crossbow, or something like that. As it was, at the time I was having difficulty understanding what was real, and what was not.

With that crossbow I had with me, I could have killed someone. Probably Wesley, if he had tried to get into the bedroom. I hate to think what I would do without him. I probably would have really gone loopy then.

After I took down the booby traps of doom, and went downstairs, I found out that Angel was back.

Angel apparently stopped the one who was responsible for the hallucinations and nightmares. Once everyone came downstairs, and once he was sure that everyone wasn’t crazy anymore, he explained what had gone on. Apparently, an inmate of Skip's, named Hadrian, was the cause of the insanity.

Wesley is going to try to send Angel to the dimension Skip is from. I hope the spell isn’t dangerous for him.

He looks tired. I can only imagine what his fears were...

No Science, and No Sleep Make Fred Go Crazy…

2004-12-13T18:39:56Z

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell Wesley. I saw Wesley in his office, but before I could even walk through the door or say anything to him, I was overwhelmed by more paranoia and fear than ever before.

After seeing yet another Pylean appear, I was a bit freaked. It went up to whole new level of fear, when two more Pyleans appeared--each carrying whips and a collar. I was so scared that I ran to the bedroom and locked the door.

I know I shouldn't be frightened. But the hallucinations are so intense...I sometimes think they might not be hallucinations. I don’t think I can tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.

Just in case, they are real, I found a few old dusty inventions that I had built shortly after I got out of Pylea. Once I set them up, they will hit anyone that tries to walk through that door.

I'm going to sit and watch the door with a crossbow in hand.

I hate this...I really hate this...

The Nightmares Continue...

2004-12-07T20:00:33Z

It seems that I'm not the only one who isn't getting a restful night's sleep anymore. Everyone at the hotel seems overly grumpy, and jumpy. And haggard as if they haven't slept in a while.

Who am I kidding? Even I'm getting to the point where I'm like that. I even snapped at Wesley when he asked if I was feeling all right, and that's not good.

I think I should probably tell Wesley what's been happening, but I'm not sure if that would be a good idea...

I will tell Wesley. The lack of sleep, nightmares and hallucinations are just making me paranoid. Maybe he'll know something that will fix things. I have to be honest with him.

Because I can't deal with another hallucination of a portal or even a Pylean. They're starting to get to me.

It's not just me being loopy. And, after all, our marriage vows did say "In sickness and in health", and this is definitely going into the category of Sickness.

Am I Losing My Mind?

2004-12-03T16:51:05Z

Ok, the scary dreams haven’t gone away. They’ve slowly been getting worse. It’s gotten to the point where I’m terrified to shut my eyes, for fear of what I might think or dream. The lack of sleep is making me a little loopier when I’m awake.

There have been scientific studies done on what happens when people don’t get enough sleep. I’m the nutty classic case right here. Hallucinations are starting, but not as you would think. No, more like hallucinations of portals appearing. Nobody else sees them, so I try not to draw attention to it.

Occasionally, I see a Pylean---scarily, it’s not Lorne. And it’s not real.

I would love to have a fear-free sleep at least once. Maybe that would fix it where I wouldn’t be seeing things. I know Wesley will notice how haggard I look soon.

I really hope I don’t start writing on the walls. That would be the proof that it’s just me who has lost it.

Oh, please don’t let it be true.

Dreaming

2004-11-29T00:41:10Z

I haven’t been feeling like myself this past week. I keep having the strangest dreams. Well, they’re more like nightmares than dreams. Or possibly old memories of Pylea that have been coming back. Whichever they are, they are really, really scary.

I had thought I had gotten over those dreams, but I guess I was wrong. The dreams are mostly about being a slave or “cow” in Pylea again. And being tortured by my slaveowner. Only this time, I don’t escape into the woods. And I don’t get rescued when Cordelia and the others arrive, and I die there.

In my waking life I know that not all Pyleans are bad. Lorne would never be cruel, so I can’t fear him.

Thankfully, I don’t think Wesley has been disturbed when I have had my nightmares. I hope he doesn’t lose any sleep. Although, despite the bad dreams, this morning was nice. I found a present that Oz left for me in the office, and it is just the cutest thing. It is the most beautiful crystal wind chime. I’ll try to find a spot to hang it in the bedroom. Maybe it will soothe away bad dreams. I’ll have to thank Oz for the gift the next time I see him.

Who knows? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m too much of a worrywart. Maybe a walk around the garden will help me take my mind off it.

Waking Up

2004-11-18T23:56:58Z

I haven’t written in my diary in so long, that I had almost forgotten where I had hidden it. Silly me. Of course, with how hectic things always are, I’m surprised that it hasn’t been blown up in some sort of experiment gone horribly wrong, or lost in some sort of dimensional gateway. It would probably be smarter to put my journal on the computer, but I just know that it would get blown up by a demon. The chances of it are great.

Despite having gone to school to learn Physics, and having been married to a Watcher, I am still constant misplacing little things.

Back to the matter at hand. (Goodness. I’ve started to sound like Wesley. That comes from being married, I guess. It makes things interesting.)

The best part of waking up, would have to be snuggled in the arms of your loving husband.

I have seen how exhausted poor Wesley has been the past few nights. I know that he has been worried about our most recent case with Nina. That is completely understandable---the poor thing is a werewolf, after all. I just worry about him when he doesn’t sleep well.

The least I can do for him is make a pot of steaming hot tea this morning at breakfast.